


Forgettable

by yuraxchan



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M, Mentions Of Infidelity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-17
Updated: 2015-01-17
Packaged: 2018-03-07 23:30:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3187298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuraxchan/pseuds/yuraxchan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Junmyeon desperately wants to be remembered, just this once.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forgettable

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the exchange ablueblazer@LJ.

 

 

 

 

Junmyeon was late, and let’s say that it was an overall rare occurrence. He had been a little distracted recently, his mind always occupied by unwanted thoughts surrounding an event he would much rather bury in the depths of his memory.

Unfortunately for him, he was an overthinker so even if he wanted to, he couldn’t stop thinking about it. The memory was still fresh and vivid, and it never failed to make his heart thump loudly as a warm and tingly feeling invaded his body.

He was so fucked.

He saw Sehun as soon as he entered the coffee shop and ran to him with an apologetic expression. Slumping onto the chair opposite of him, he let out a breathless “Hi, sorry I’m late!” and smiled gently at the younger.

Sehun arched his eyebrow and only shrugged, not at all bothered by his tardiness. Typical Sehun. “It’s fine, hyung. My friend is running late too.”

See, Junmyeon was supposed to meet one of Sehun’s awesome friend (“My second best hyung after you, but don’t worry you’ll forever be my favorite!” The younger had proclaimed earnestly.), because apparently Junmyeon needed to "meet more people, hang out and live a little." Sehun’s words, not his.

After months of smiling and nodding dumbly and trying to get out of this, Junmyeon had no choice but to grudgingly accept. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to meet new people, he just didn’t see why he should. He wasn’t particularly interesting and he didn’t know what he could talk about with other people. So, why bother?

It wasn’t that he was shy or an introvert. Not at all. He just didn't have many people he could call friends. Junmyeon simply didn’t do friendship. He was friendly, had a good relationship with his colleagues and neighbors but that was it. His only friends would be Sehun, the brat he tutored in College who wouldn’t leave him alone after that, and Kyungsoo, his best friend who acted more like a mother hen and a jealous girlfriend most of the time, always bossing him around and scolding him.

So, yeah, that was it. Junmyeon only had two friends.

Junmyeon was looking through the window, lost in thought, when Sehun let out a small “ah”. Turning around, Junmyeon saw a black haired young man approaching their table, waving enthusiastically at Sehun.

Fuck.

Junmyeon gaped and resisted the urge to bolt. What was Park Chanyeol doing here? Was he Sehun’s friend? It couldn’t be…right? Breaking into a sweat, Junmyeon tried to hide the fact that he was internally panicking. Crossing his fingers, he threw a tentative smile in Sehun’s direction.

“Hyung, Chanyeol hyung! Meet my friend, Kim Junmyeon!” Sehun exclaimed, sliding over to let his friend sit next to him.

“Hi, nice to meet you.” Chanyeol greeted him with a grin.

Junmyeon smiled back hesitantly and held his gaze, searching for the slightest sign of recognition but nothing happened. He relaxed and grinned more sincerely. “Hi.” Of course, he should have known Chanyeol wouldn’t remember him.

Sure, he couldn’t deny that a part of him was disappointed, but at the same time he was relieved. It was better this way anyway. Less complicated, and safer for his heart.

 

 

After that first meeting it became a habit. Junmyeon would join Sehun and Chanyeol at the coffee shop and they would talk about anything and everything for about two hours each Saturday afternoon. Sometimes they would only study in silence, though Park Chanyeol didn’t really do silence. The man was a chatterbox and no one could shut him up.

Sehun would humor him or simply ignore his friend while Junmyeon chose to listen to him rant. Junmyeon was fine with listening and not saying anything. It never was a big deal because it wasn’t like he had anything to say anyway. In a sense he was glad Chanyeol was this chatty – it would be awkward if he wasn’t.

 

 

It was raining heavily this particular Saturday and Junmyeon hesitated before making his way to the coffee shop. When he found himself sitting alone at his table, he sighed. Maybe he shouldn’t have come after all. Sehun had sent him a text to tell him he wouldn’t come, too lazy to go out with this weather. Junmyeon couldn’t blame him.

He was surprised Chanyeol had bothered to come though, refraining himself from gaping as the other sat in front of him. He looked like a kicked puppy with his hair and face wet but his smile was still as big as ever. “Hi”

“H-Hi” Junmyeon stuttered, nervous for unknown reasons. “I didn’t think you would come.”

Chanyeol laughed and shook his head, splashing rain drops everywhere. “I’m not Sehun!” Something wet fell on Junmyeon’s forehead and he frowned, confused. Chanyeol offered him an apologetic smile and bent over towards him to wipe it dry with his sleeve.

Junmyeon stared and blinked a few times, suddenly feeling self-conscious. “Thanks.”

Chanyeol smiled and began talking about his week, about the weather, his friend Jongin who had a performance and what a bore his English teacher was. Junmyeon listened attentively, as always, sipping on his coffee from time to time.

After a few minutes, Chanyeol stopped talking altogether and it made Junmyeon suddenly nervous. The younger man was staring at him with a thoughtful look on his face before breaking the silence. “We’ve been meeting for a few weeks now but I’ve practically never heard the sound of your voice.”

“I…I’m not a talker. I have nothing interesting to say.” Junmyeon fidgeted uncomfortably, not enjoying being the center of attention. He took it back – now he cursed Sehun for not being here.

Chanyeol looked confused. “Don’t you like to talk?”

The older one smiled softly, shrugging. “Not really.”

“Should I stop talking too then?” Chanyeol asked, wondering. “Am I annoying?”

Junmyeon bit his lip, looking down at his hands clasped together on his lap. “I don’t mind listening to you, or others.”

“You’re really nice.” Chanyeol complimented him with a fond smile.

“You have a beautiful smile” was the first thing Chanyeol had said to him that night, looking intensely at his lips.

“Come home with me?” had been what he had whispered to Junmyeon’s ear when the party had died down. Junmyeon hadn’t said no, couldn’t say no. He had basked in the attention, had liked Chanyeol’s appreciative gaze on his body. Because for once he had been noticed.

“I feel like I know you from somewhere,” Chanyeol had said in between heated kisses, mumbling that he couldn’t pinpoint out where or when. Junmyeon hadn’t replied.

“You’re really nice and all but I’m sorry, I was drunk, I don’t really remember anything…and I already have someone. Could you keep it a secret?” had been Chanyeol’s last words to him the morning after.

It had been eight months ago. And only one month since they met again.

“That’s what people keep saying about me.” Junmyeon replied bitterly. “That I’m nice.” He needed to get out of here. Now. He needed to stop seeing Chanyeol. “I should go, see you,” he mumbled while hastily slipping on his coat. For the first time, he had cut Chanyeol off, not letting him speak.

The cold biting weather hit his face and he winced but he didn’t slow down his pace. He wanted, no, he needed to go home quickly.

 

 

From : Sehun  
Why ar u not coming back ??? Chanyeol is worried about u

From : Junmyeon hyung  
I can’t sorry

From : Sehun  
Did something happen ???

From : Junmyeon hyung  
No

From : Sehun  
It means yes. So. What?

From : Junmyeon hyung  
Doesn’t matter anymore

From : Sehun  
Hyuuuuuuuung pls

From : Junmyeon hyung  
Sehun stop it

From : Sehun  
I’ll tell Kyungsoo hyung !!!!!!!!!!

From : Junmyeon hyung  
Are you threatening me Oh Sehun ?

From : Sehun  
Yes. Come on. Tell me !!!!!!!!

From : Junmyeon hyung  
Fine. I knew Chanyeol. Before you made us meet I mean.

From : Sehun  
What ??? But Chanyeol hyung never said anything !!!

From : Junmyeon hyung  
He doesn’t remember me.

From : Sehun  
…why didn’t u tell me ?

From : Junmyeon hyung  
It’s personal. And Chanyeol didn’t recognize me so I didn’t see why I should tell you. Or him.

From : Sehun  
Is it something serious? Did he hurt u? Do u want me to punch him for u? (we both know u couldn’t)

From : Junmyeon hyung  
I’m fine Sehun.

From : Sehun  
If u change ur mind call me I’ll punch him real good

Junmyeon smiled. Sehun didn’t have to know. Junmyeon didn’t want to jeopardize Sehun and Chanyeol’s friendship for something this petty and ridiculous. He was fine. True, he still felt a bit hurt, but it wasn’t like he was the only one in this kind of situation. Something like this happened to others every other day for Christ’s sake. He needed to stop acting like a child.

So what if he had a one night stand with someone attractive he knew from afar and the guy was drunk and didn’t remember a thing the next day, and then that same guy let him down the next morning because he had someone else? It was ridiculous. So why was Junmyeon still thinking about him? Why couldn’t he stop thinking about that night? Junmyeon remembered Chanyeol’s breath on his neck, his warm lips on his body, and how his heavy gaze made Junmyeon hot and bothered...Why couldn’t he forget, like Chanyeol had?

 

 

The next weekend, Junmyeon was shocked to see Chanyeol on his doorstep with two take out coffees. Spluttering a weak “come in”, Junmyeon led the way towards his kitchen, awkwardly standing behind the table to put some distance between them.

Chanyeol looked cold. His cheeks were a little red despite his beany, huge coat, and scarf. He still looked good though and Junmyeon’s chest ached. “You can sit here.” He offered, motioning for the chair.

Smiling gratefully, Chanyeol put the cups on the table and took off his winter clothes, sitting quietly. If he didn’t know any better Junmyeon would say Chanyeol seemed self-conscious and bashful – he was too quiet. Junmyeon wasn’t used to seeing the younger act this way and he immediately felt guilty.

Finally, Junmyeon sat as well and they looked at each other in silence for a while, before Chanyeol cleared his throat. “So,” he began. “Sehun wouldn’t talk to me and looked mad…and I don’t know why. But I suspected it has something to do with the fact that you didn’t meet up with us for two weeks.”

Junmyeon planted his nails on his thighs, uncomfortable. He wanted to refute but his mouth wouldn’t work. It didn’t seem to bother Chanyeol though. “I don’t know what I did to upset you, but I’m sorry. Can I make it up to you?”

“Are you really sorry or are you doing it because of Sehun?” Junmyeon couldn’t help but ask. He knew he acted defensive but he didn’t care.

Chanyeol looked nonplussed. He frowned and Junmyeon couldn’t read him. Was he going to get angry? Was he getting frustrated? “I’m not here because of Sehun. I’m here because of you," he stated simply, serious and sincere.

Junmyeon’s eyes widened comically, not prepared to hear something like this falling out of Chanyeol’s mouth. “Thank you.” He replied quietly, feeling less tense.

“What happened? Was it something I said or I did?” Chanyeol asked again, pressing the subject.

The older one sighed loudly, feeling cornered. He couldn’t keep mum now, right? It would be inconsiderate and childish. They were both adults – they could talk about it and get over it.

“I knew you from before.” Junmyeon licked his lips. “I saw you around the campus, and we met at a party once. About nine months ago.”

Chanyeol nodded slowly, frowning as he struggled to remember. He looked lost and his fingers kept stroking his cup as he chewed on his lips nervously.

“You said you knew me from somewhere,” Junmyeon added, hoping it would help him remember something, anything, from that night. But it didn’t. The younger one was hanging on his every word, waiting.

“You said I had a beautiful smile," he whispered, lowering his gaze and flushing slightly.

When he looked back at Chanyeol, the younger seemed confused. “Nine months ago? But…I was…I had…”

“Someone, I know. You told me the next morning.” Junmyeon confessed, finally dropping the bomb.

Chanyeol opened his mouth and closed it a few times, shocked. Junmyeon looked him in the eyes without faltering. He hoped Chanyeol could see it in his eyes: the hurt, the longing, the betrayal, the incomprehension – all the feelings he tried to forget since that night.

The younger hesitated. “I’m-”

“Let me guess, You’re really nice and all but I’m sorry, I was drunk, I don’t really remember anything…and I have already someone. Could you keep it a secret?” Junmyeon offered, finishing his sentence.

Chanyeol didn’t reply.

“Please get out of my house.” Junmyeon practically begged.

Like a robot, Chanyeol got up, took his things, and then, after glancing at Junmyeon one last time, left. Junmyeon didn’t look towards him, keeping his gaze stubbornly on his cup. It wasn’t that he hadn’t wanted to, but he knew it would have been a mistake if he did. One look at Chanyeol and he would have apologized. Maybe even let him stay and that wasn’t a good idea at all.

Because, despite everything, Junmyeon’s heart was still held captive by Chanyeol.

From: Sehun  
Chanyeol hyung is a mess :(

From: Sehun  
What happened between u and him?

From: Sehun  
I’m calling Kyungsoo hyung for help

And call Kyungsoo, Sehun did. His best friend came barging into his apartment a few hours after, glaring at him. Still, he must have looked like shit because his friend didn’t say anything and started cooking for him. Junmyeon was glad Kyungsoo wasn’t yelling at him to grow the fuck up and act like a decent human being – his usual words in this kind of situation when he was frustrated by Junmyeon’s nonexistent life.

They ate in silence in front of the TV and Kyungsoo washed the dishes. Junmyeon was playing with the hem of his shirt nervously, knowing Kyungsoo was waiting for him to talk.

“I like him," he mumbled. “Chanyeol, I mean.” Kyungsoo didn’t reply. “But I didn’t tell him that. I only talked about what happened at that party.” he explained, munching on his lip.

His friend turned around and sighed. “Why didn’t you tell him? You should have told him that instead.”

“I don’t know. I just wanted him to know. To remember.” He shrugged, feeling guilty.

Kyungsoo dried his hands and came to sit next to him. “You should tell him. It was obvious that he wouldn’t remember. You knew he wouldn’t so what’s the point? He cared enough to come and ask you what’s wrong. The least you can do is to be honest with him. You’re friends right?”

Junmyeon nodded. Friends. Yeah, they were, kind of.

 

 

Once again alone, Junmyeon thought hard about it and decided why the hell not? Kyungsoo was right, he needed to tell Chanyeol the truth. If he wanted to get over it, get over him, he needed to lay everything on the table. Including his feelings. Especially his feelings.

He asked Sehun for Chanyeol’s number, because of course he didn’t have his number despite knowing him for more than one month, and texted him, asking to meet. Chanyeol replied immediately by the affirmative and Junmyeon’s heart fluttered. He was so screwed it was becoming ridiculous.

 

 

Chanyeol was running late but Junmyeon wasn’t worried. The younger was always late for their meetings anyway. True to his words, not five minutes later someone knocked on his door. Chanyeol looked breathless. He must have run and it pleased Junmyeon greatly so he smiled at him.

The younger stayed close to the door, not knowing what to do. He looked unsure and Junmyeon couldn’t help but feel guilty, again. The situation was repeating itself and it was all because of him. “How are you?” He began softly.

“Fine, sorry I’m late by the way,” He replied, smiling shyly. “You know me.”

Junmyeon nodded, letting out a laugh. Yes, he knew him. “Do you want something to drink?” He offered, walking towards the kitchen, Chanyeol following his steps. “Water please.”

They sat in the living room this time but Chanyeol still looked tense, sitting stiffly on the couch. He looked everywhere but at Junmyeon and the older one felt bad to see him uncomfortable in his presence. “I’m sorry," he said, regretful.

Chanyeol looked at him with something akin to affection and smiled. “Don’t. I was the one in the wrong.”

“I’m still sorry,” Junmyeon admitted forlornly. “I like you. I’ve liked you for a while, before the party I mean. Then...” He paused, biting his lip. “And after that we met again through Sehun.”

“You know, the person I was dating back then, we broke up the week after. I was feeling bad for cheating on her once but it turned out she was sleeping around with others while being with me. I guess it was karma.” He laughed humorlessly.

Junmyeon looked at him in sympathy but didn’t say anything.

“I’m not going to lie and tell you I thought of you after because I really can’t remember what happened that night. I wish I did but…I can’t.” The younger let out a sigh of frustration, tousling his hair. “But when we met again at the coffee shop I found you really interesting and I wanted to know you. I had the feeling I knew you from somewhere but that wasn’t all. There was something about you.”

“Because I’m really nice?” Junmyeon suggested.

Chanyeol looked pensive. “That’s what I said last time at the coffee shop and you looked upset. Why? Don’t you like hearing that you’re nice?” He asked, curious.

“When all people have to say about you is that you’re nice it often means that they don’t remember enough about you to say anything else," he explained bitterly. “I get that a lot you know, that I’m nice. It looks like I’m easily forgettable.” The even to you was left unsaid but was still left hanging between them.

“I think…I think you’re really nice. I mean it. You’re one of the nicest persons I know. And I like that about you. But you’re not just nice. You’re smart and interesting despite what you think, you’re good looking, you have a beautiful smile, you listen to others, and you’re a very good friend," Chanyeol said earnestly. “And you’re really likeable, you know," he added with a smile.

Flushing, Junmyeon lowered his gaze, not knowing what to say. What was Chanyeol saying?

“Would you forgive me and let me get to know you better?” The younger asked, sliding towards him. “I wish I could remember what if felt like to hold you. I’ve been thinking about it since you told me, you know.”

Junmyeon was blushing madly now, rendered speechless. He let Chanyeol get closer and didn’t move an inch when the younger cupped his cheek and caressed it tenderly. “Can I kiss you?” Closing his eyes, Junmyeon waited until he felt Chanyeol’s full lips on his. The kiss was chaste and quick but it left him breathless nonetheless. Not opening his eyes, he didn’t let the younger go far before capturing his mouth in a less innocent kiss, wanting more.

Chanyeol was the one who broke the kiss, gently detaching himself from him before it became too heated. “Wow! I didn’t think you would be…” He smiled at him incredulously.

Junmyeon arched an eyebrow. “I may be nice but it doesn’t mean I’m going to lie down and be a passive bottom," he stated dryly, a little affronted.

It made Chanyeol laugh harder than he had in a while and Junmyeon couldn’t help but smile at his antic. “Not a passive bottom, noted!” Chanyeol repeated firmly, hugging him to his side.

 

 

 


End file.
